LIVING

My author pages have always had an adequate following on social media. Several thousand followers on my Facebook page and over a thousand on my Instagram. It took work to get it that way — inviting folks to follow, advertising through my pages each time I manage to get a new book published or have a poem appear in a publication, and the continual race to post good content and updates to grow and keep my readership, as well as to develop my author aesthetic and brand.

And, ladies and gentlemen, all of it makes me want to vomit.

The notion that I need an author brand and to continually share content to sell and market my work is almost too much to bear anymore. I have my books, available worldwide in paperback and ebook, and if someone wants to buy them they can. I tire of trying to sell myself to sell my words. What’s the point?

I’m tired of presenting the world my outdoorsy, pipesmoking, old soul aesthetic. I will be outdoorsy, smoke my pipes, and be an old soul on my own time. I don’t need to share it with anyone.

Facebook was the first to slide for me. This contentious and bitter election and the overwhelming flood of misinformation and vitriol swelled on Facebook to terrifying levels before I decided to uninstall the app from my phone. I had been spending most of my time on Instagram anyway, sharing photos of my life and perusing the photos of others. But I found myself on Instagram an uncomfortable amount, and posting too much for my liking. I hadn’t read a book in far too long and my writers block was growing and growing. My free time was comprised of Instagram. I couldn’t even enjoy hiking or fishing throughout this autumn because I was always hunting for photos to post. In hunting for the perfect sunset, still-life, or selfie, I was missing out on the things right in front of me. Seeing a sunset through a lens is a vastly different experience than just simply standing and viewing a sunset, with no thought of sharing it.

Additionally, I think that social media (despite the good it has done) has handicapped at least two generations and done more to disconnect us than grant us the connection it was supposed to provide. Through social media, nothing is sacred, nobody is accountable for their words or what they share. It’s a lawless hellscape. On social media I was connected to strangers but disconnected from my family within my household.

So I uninstalled Instagram from my phone last week.

And what’s happened since then? I finished reading three books and am well on my way to finishing another. My month-long writer’s block has begun to give way, as I’ve been writing a haiku each morning on my typewriter after I wake up, pray my rosary, and make a cup of hot tea. It feels like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders, as I don’t have to worry about sharing content and sharing my life.

I’ve been enjoying spending time with my wife and children more than I had been. I’ve been paying attention and savoring experiences, learning another language, and enjoying music, my pipe tobacco, books, and food much more than I had been. The idea that I can simply enjoy a drink or a meal without agonizing about catching the perfect photo of it before the ice melts or the food cools is a liberating idea.

I’ve barely been touching my phone, already a longtime cause of anxiety for me. So that’s an added blessing.

I feel more awake. My days are richer and more full.

I know my writing will never make me a rich or well-known man, and it’s very freeing to be okay with that. Even if I never publish another book, I’ve somehow come to terms with that. I don’t enjoy having to market myself and my work anyway. I write for myself. I always have. Getting my work published was just an added bonus to the precious exercise of writing.

If you enjoyed keeping up with me on social media, my email is nrtrandahl@gmail.com. Drop me a line sometime.

My poetry collections and my novel are out there and my work continues to be featured in other publications. If you stumble across one, buy a copy, enjoy it, and review it!

Meanwhile, I’ll be out there in the world living. Not living to post about it and share it, but living to get the most out of this life I’ve been blessed with.

Be well, friends.